Janam samja karo:way to win sweet hearts

Though we cheer up the life before marriage, the things aftermath is quite phenomenal. (This is my view; even if you don’t agree with me!).As one author has put it; I agree there is no pain in bachelor life; there is no pleasure too! Life gets a meaning after marriage only. In the society, we get a unique identity, respect and status. The success of married life not spending years together; but the level of understanding between the two. (In short it depends on quality of relationship not the quantity!).Keeping jokes apart (like better half becomes bitter half in a short time!!) marriage is quite indispensable to do with. Like exams which are necessary evils, marriage to life. I agree. Life is a tough teacher. The teacher teaches the lessons first and conducts the test. But the life conducts the test first and teaches the lesson later. If we note down the incidents in a diary, later it will become a useful guide(?!) for the youngsters. I have noted down some incidents in my diary. I am making the pages an open secret. Please go through that and don’t forget to put your autograph (what else? Valuable comments in the last!)in the end. Some of the scenarios might have happened in your life also..
Date: 10.01.10 .time 11:00 am

Ø We went for shopping. (If we go for shopping, nowadays we have to see the calendar not the watch!!)my wife has selected something. Obviously asking my permission (rather it’s a formality!) and idea to choose between blue and olive green. By using my experience “darling this blue suits you! That’s all. Her face turned red and that was the end of finest hour the day! I started blinking(as usual). What I should have told? Is there anything wrong?

Date:05.02.10 .time:.03.00pm
Ø Today she went for shopping alone. I preferred to stay at home. (Good decision!)After a half day, she returned, with a limp. As usual I could spot the difference after some time only! With anger she asked ‘could you spot any difference?’ I replied innocently, “you were looking tired darling. Prepare & have some coffee (give me too!). That’s all. Cloudburst happened. I m limping, still you could not find the difference? I have fallen in the shop. I am suffering from unbearable pain. You are joking. What a man…u r…etc..Once again I used my experience. ‘I think you are wearing a high heels sandal. You should not have worn. I told you the same thing two days back. But you haven’t changed.. That’s why this happened…. On that day, that was the end of finest hour. I was again thinking. What should I have told? Any mistake was there?

03.03.10 08.15 pm
Ø Things were going on fine, till that time. She was watching some TV soap opera. I was reading some magazine. Suddenly I heard a sound that some body is crying. Wife turned towards me and told,’ see that!’ I took the eyes from the book and saw my wife was shedding the tears. Suddenly mars started its work. Hey. Stop this non sense...Whats this yaar… that’s it. Her anger turned towards me. You don’t have human heart? Once again I got confused!




What may be the reasons behind these incidents? I was also breaking my head! Finally I could get a reply from one good book, ‘why men can’t listen and women can’t read maps’ by Allan Pease.

ü If a woman is asking you, what should she choose means, she has already decided one thing in mind. (She is asking you just for formality!!)The intelligent reply should have been “what you have decided?” That’s all. (Give the opponent a chance to have a fair play in the game!) Everybody should have the moral feeling that, her participation is also important in every happening. That’s the hidden truth. Without realizing the real reason, shouting at her wont help to improve the things.
ü Without realizing her pain, you should not have started your advice session. First listen to her. That’s what she is expecting from you. In the art of loving, the listening plays an important role. Please go through the following lines:
“Please listen to your wife. If she says turn right, why do you turn left?”
“If you start listening to your wife, 90% of problems will be solved”

Those lines were not ordinary ones. But part of sacred document. Yes. They were part of judgement given by Supreme Court judges’ division bench comprising of Justice Markandeya Katju and justice verma in a family case.

In AOL,(art of living) , AOL (art of listening) plays an important role. So what for you are waiting? Start listening to others.



ü In the third case you see her emotions. A woman is full of emotional feelings. When ever she is flickering the channels, a woman used to see the relations and emotions. For that only she has been created. That’s her strength. More over because of her feelings only, still the institution called family is existing even today. When she starts ignoring her qualities that would be the end of the world. So accept her with all her qualities. Don’t try to change it.(nobody can do it also!!)



Man or woman acts according to the purpose he/she was meant for. Don’t construe other one as enemy or imperfect. AFAP see other person with respect to situation not as a personality. We have not come to the world to rectify others faults; and we are not meant for that also. Rather living a life as an intelligent or smart person, live like a human being. That’s the easiest way win another one’s heart. For woman,
Ø The easiest way to enter your loved ones heart is try to understand him.
The major complaint is he is not listening. If you are going to tell a serious matter, inform him earlier.”Hey... I am going to discuss a serious matter with you. Listen to me. “That’s enough. When he is reading a magazine, or watching TV don’t tell serious things. Yes.. He can’t do two things at a time (?!). That’s his power of concentration. If he concentrates on two things, as per him, he can’t do justice. Of course it’s not his problem. Biologically he has been designed for that.


Ø Another major complaint is that, he is not remembering important things. “I have to repeat so many times. Still he doesn’t remember the earlier experiences. That’s not his fault. It has come from his ancestors, for whom hunting was the prime profession. If he remembers earlier dangers how will he proceed daily? That will make his livelihood impossible one. So some purpose is there to forget earlier ones and start afresh. But a woman has to remember earlier dangers to protect her siblings. She has been created for that purpose. Her job is to remind.

To put a full stop to my thoughts, I switched on tv. Asha bonsle was singing a song..

“Janam samja kharo..
Pardein mein rehne do..
Pardey math uthavo”

Yes.. Everybody has born with a purpose. If we have understood the purpose, that’s fine. If we couldn’t understand the others one, until then we should remain patient.

So each one has a purpose to live and if we have found that, the life would be an enjoyable journey in the planet called earth! Are you listening to me?